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Finding the right tone

Writer's picture: Robin GreubelRobin Greubel

One of the interesting things I often find while listening to people talk to each other is

that so much gets lost in the delivery of the words. This is why written words and spoken words are so different. Tone is lost. Facial expression and corresponding body

movement is not there to imply meaning. This is why things get misconstrued over texts, posts on social media, and in emails.


Writing exactly what you mean in a respectful tone, delivering it in such a way that your reader can hear it is hard. It is a learned skill. Just like delivering a toy or a treat. Some people do it naturally, some people have to work at it.


Dogs are great. You can be uttering gibberish at them in a wonderful 'six year old girl who won a free pony' voice and they think you are fantastic. You can turn around and tell someone you think they are wonderful while red in the face and make them cry out of fright.


One of the most important lessons I have learned during a hard conversation is this....

Concentrate on the message being delivered, not the delivery of the message.


It's hard.


Separating the two takes skill.


I often find out in those situations the message is fine but the tone being used is what I am having a problem with.


Creating a safe space where we can learn to have hard conversations is why I have created the K9Sensus Coaching Community. This is a curated space for us to have conversations, and develop as trainers, leaders, and coaches.


The human end of the leash is the more difficult end of the leash to train and coach.


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